The enormity of the task in hand

This week I am feeling good. Motivation is sky high, I've stuck to my points and started exercising again and I'm feeling on top of things.

Off the back of this I decided to sit down and actually work out milestones and the overall journey that lies ahead. So, with a deep breath here goes. I have 110 pounds to lose (please don't think any less of my at this point). Of these 110 I have already lost 12 - yay me !!

2lbs to go to my 5% loss and then another 13lbs to my 10%  (this actually coincides with my next mini goal). Overall I need to be losing just under 40% of my body weight - wow, this is serious shit. 

So this is an huge task ahead but it's step by step by step. I'm nearly at 5% which can only be a good thing and from then on it's down, down, down.

Wish me luck !

      

Making this manageable

Well, the weekend went well ! Despite my concerns that it was all going to go horribly wrong I pointed every morsel that passed my lips, barely nibbled at a chocolate egg and made it through relatively unscathed. Still cruising towards my first weigh in on Saturday morning with some trepidation though.

So, previously when I've done Weight Watchers I've always tried to run before I could walk. I've always wanted the quick fix and the weight off just like that. I KNOW that isn't going to happen but I've never been satisfied with a pound here and a pound there. I want the BIG losses and the noticeable results here and now ! This is why I think I've always fallen off the wagon, always looking for the next thing to give me what I want, which I know in my heart of hearts doesn't really exist.

Now I'm going to make it real. I'm going to set myself goals, mini-goals and even min-ier goals. I'm going to treat myself with something non-food when I get to these goals. Maybe by doing this it will make it possible and likely to happen ?

Ok, so first things first. I have A LOT of weight to lose and by a lot I mean A LOT. I am in this for the long haul sadly so I have to make it as sustainable as possible. I love my food and I'm not prepared to eat diet/ rabbit food for the duration so I will be adapting my usual recipes to fit and reducing my portion size more crucially.

So my first goal ? I am taking my overall loss from my heaviest ever weight so according to that I have already lost 12lbs but I am17lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight.

My first mini goal is to lose 7lbs which takes me into my next stone range and an overall loss of 19lbs. I hope to have done this by May 14th taking in to account first week losses etc.

When I've done that I'll re-assess as to my next goal but from there I'd like my next one to be my pre-pregnancy weight which will be a loss of another 10lbs.

The first challenge

I find the weekends unbelievably hard. I think it's the temptation of being at home and the opportunity to cook yummy things and indulge my love of baking.

So far this has gone ok. I've had to do some damage limitation as we've had a trip to the cinema and then lunch out. Now it's Easter weekend and I have to face all the chocolate (although have specifically requested NO Easter eggs for me) and cakes/puddings etc.

I'm cooking tomorrow and it's roast lamb with roast potatoes and plenty of vegetables. I have my lovely slush fund points that I can use if I fancy a treat - Pimms anyone ?! On a particular forum I use the WW girls there have referred to their 49 points as their "lush" fund !!

Tonight however it's the first BBQ of the season. I am a total carnivore so for me a BBQ is my idea of heaven, with some token salad on the side. I love the crispy skin on marinated chicken thighs, burgers in buns and juicy, sizzling sausages. Need I go on ? Then it's the inevitable alcohol that goes along with it and ... well man I'm in trouble !

So tonight while my kids and husband have sausages in buns I'm having chicken breast marinated in Nando's sauce with a few Jersey Royals and a large salad. You may now have figured why this blog is named the Foodie's Diet ?!

So, what about the Pimms ?? At 2pp for a measure, don't mind if I do !

A bit about me

This is a blog about my weight loss.

I have had a weight problem for a long time. When I was a child my father put me on a diet aged 8 as I was "fat". Looking back at photos of me then, I was so NOT fat. A little chubby maybe but not fat. Looking at photos through my teenage years I was always a little bigger but why on earth did I think I was fat aged 16. I was a size 14 and all in proportion but I listened to my critics and the inner critic which said "you're fat, you're not worth anything, you need to diet".

In my 20s I chucked the diet all together and threw myself into the lifestyle at university and due to the alcohol and medication I gained even more weight. I kept trying not to let it get to me and to hide my poor self-esteem I adopted the "big and bubbly" outlook. I did everything to excess but underneath it all I hated my size and shape. I didn't know how much I weighed until 1999 when I had to be weighed for a hospital appointment. I had a huge shock and tried to address it but to be honest it didn't work and as my self-esteem plummeted, my weight rose.

Then I met my future husband. He loved me for who I am, not what I am and for that I will be forever grateful. I knew how I felt about my weight and wanted to help me address it. I lost 2.5 stone with Weight Watchers before our wedding and felt great. Still no where near what I should weigh but a definite improvement. Looking at my wedding photos I was happy, confident and dare I say even radiant !

Then came a pregnancy and post-natal depression and my weight loss stopped. I put on 4 stone when pregnant and was the heaviest I have ever been. I lost 3 stone over time but then got pregnant again, sadly this time I lost the baby and always in the back of my mind has been "did my weight contribute to this ?". Another pregnancy followed soon after and this time all went well but still after the baby I was left with the baby weight. Never one of the lucky ones, I breast fed but the weight didn't just fall off me. Again post-natal depression got me, my weight ballooned and by Christmas 2008 I was at my heaviest non-pregnant weight. In early 2009 I discovered low carb and lost 2 stone but it proved not to be sustainable and I while not back at the level I was I have still gained some of what I lost.

I am now 36 and need to sort this out once and for all. I have two young children who need a more positive role model. I'm worried about my health and I'm worried about not being around to see my grandchildren.

The catalyst for all this ? I had a wedding invitation arrive and I couldn't find anything in a size 22 that would do without looking like the fat girl in the corner. I also felt sick that I was limited to only certain shops to look in. Sounds shallow ? Maybe, but the catalysts aren't always the big things, sometimes they can be the small things that just tip you over the edge.

So, I'm back on Weight Watchers as I know that works for me and suits my life style. I have several events over the summer that I know I won't be thin for but I can be slimmer than I am now and more confident in my clothes. Day 1 starts here.